Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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