we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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