So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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