Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
