White coat. Heels.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
