Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize