I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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