Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
