Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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