I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
