gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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