is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
