I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
