No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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