yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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