tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He better not be in your backpack
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
