I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
