It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
