Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
