This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
