I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
