I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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