I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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