Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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