Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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