I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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