When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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