So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
