sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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