Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This couple is walking their pig around campus
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
