Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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