I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
this is an emotional support booty call
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
