I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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