Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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