i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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