If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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