Just cropdusted the office
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have post one night stand depression
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