another moral hangover. fuck.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
