My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
