I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
