Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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