So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
