I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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