I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
