I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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