I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
