I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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