but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
