he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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