As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
