I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
