You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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