I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
