is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
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They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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