I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
