it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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