fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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