Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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