I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How naked do you want me to be?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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